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The Hardest Task In My Life

44 F

Day One

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 at 7:25 PM filed under Just writing postings
This is very hard for me.  I have been over weight my whole life.  I have been picked on when I was younger and would never wish that for anyone.  I am now 35 years old, re-married with a great job and totally disgusted with my weight.  I quit smoking 3 months ago and have gained 10 pounds.  I had to go and buy new work clothes a few days ago because my clothes just don't fit me like they did.  I went from a size 12 last summer to a size 16 now.  I was once a 20 and realized that I had to get rid of an ex husband and shed some weight off after I did that.  I think that now I am just comfortable in my relationship and knowing that it doesn't matter how I look to my husband that he loves me no matter what...the weight is starting to effect my health.  I get winded easily.  I suffer from anxiety (panic attacks) and losing my breath brings on the attacks more frequently.

I just finished my cardio and workout for my first date.  I feel good but feel that I could have done more.  I just don't want to over do it.  I took my dog for a 45 minute walk and have a ton of workout equipment in my basement to work on.  So of course there is no excuse for me not to do this, except pure laziness.  I need to start a good habit and hope this is it.

So here I am trying something different.  I thank God for my husband and all his support in this life long task that I am trying to complete.  He understands since he has lost over 100 lbs in over a year and has kept it off.  I love him and look to him to be my rock and guidance throughout this endeavor.

Till next time...good luck everyone and don't give up, life is too short.